Out of the Game

Here I was moping about because I had minor surgery and its been almost 2 weeks since I have been on trail. I was thinking about how I feel like I don't qualify as a runner anymore and I should probably pack up my numbers and delete my blog (okay, I get a little dramatic when I'm moping) and then I had a thought I think it DOES make me a runner that I am so bummed that I can't run! I have been tired and grouchy and all my joints hurt. I haven't been sleeping well and my resting heart rate is creeping back up (it was 55 yesterday). Seems like it might be a little unrealistic that I will have to start over from scratch when I am able to start back up again, but it sure feels that way. I can feel the fat piling on my hips and my muscles atrophying!! I can't even weight lift or swim in the mean time. I could probably go bike, but its the sitting that hurts the most. So here I go moping along...

I had a nurse last week tell me that there is no benefit to running because walking burns the same calories, it seemed futile to attempt to have her believe any different. Then she referred me to my Primary Care Doctor because my resting heart rate was 44.

Then yesterday, while selling snacks to raise money for the charity, a chaplain comes over and asks me why I run and proceeds to tell me that one day I am going to have to stop running from what hurts and face life. He said that long distance runners lack spirit because the run from their problems and only run as an alternate form of therapy because they can't face the truth. He said that they are junkies like all the other addicts, addicted to endorphins.

Then I had an old guy telling me (almost in tears) how when he was in the Army he was on the post Ten Miler team and it was the highlight of his life. Running gave him purpose and that in the last six years since he got cancer and can't run, his life lacks purpose and drive.

Then today, I got a package in the mail from Brandon from the Respite Center with a bunch of information from the Boston Marathon and the Respite Center. It got me all pumped up and I wish I could be running now.......

"Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must, just never give up" ~ Dean Karnazes